Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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