i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
