Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
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