did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
