she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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