trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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