she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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