Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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