im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
