You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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