But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
