hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
