So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
