Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
