Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
