It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
