"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
