apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
