u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
