you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
