BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
