Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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