worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
