My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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