if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
