Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
