just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
