Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
