Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
