Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
