We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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