Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
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