I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
