Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
