a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
