She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
