ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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