I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
