OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
