Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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