i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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