Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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