After last night, I could never be a politician.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
