i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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