I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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