Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
