p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
NoShamevember. You game?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
