I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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