A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
