i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
