I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
