i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize