I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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