i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
my poor anus
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
